Purging Ruins Chidinma's Christmas Outing
She had been on a diet since January.
She kept her weight under check using a strategy which involved taking seasoning out of her daily cooking recipe.
Her life has been sweet, as she has less to worry about when it comes to her health.
Chidinma, as she is popularly called by her friends, is from the south-eastern part of Nigeria, but she has spent all her life in Lagos.
The beautiful Lagos babe lowered her guard a little since it was Christmas and then the New Year is just around the corner.
The little indulgence she had allowed herself has now resulted in acute purging.
She had visited some friends and ate a meal bathed with seasoning which her stomach was not used to.
I had asked her for a date and she accepted. It was fun being around her and everything was fine until we were at our choice place for the evening.
Shoprite mall in Ikeja was our choice and we had just arrived the venue when she tapped me, telling me she wanted to go to the loo.
Being familiar with the environment, I quickly took her to the toilet and she stayed a little longer than usual.
When she finally came out after what seems like eternity, I asked, in a low tone "You dey purge?"
She responded to the affirmative with a nod, apparently shy. I knew we were in for a real contention with the movie we had come to see and the situation that has now come up.
It was her first time to see a movie at the mall and she was not interested in losing that opportunity.
When I asked if we should go home, Chidinma quickly said NO. "It is not something serious," she said.
We entered the theatre.
It was a nice movie - JUMANJI - and we had opted for 4:30 p.m. showtime.
The movie had barely played for 15 minutes when Chidinma tapped me again. She had held the pressure to go, in pretence that all was well just to ensure she entered the theatre.
She could no longer hold what has now escaped to her panties.
I looked at her pair of carton-colour trouser and knew it would be a disaster if there was an accidental discharge.
I was in thought when I noticed what seems like a little wetness. Ah! It began to spread.
Oh God. It had escaped and the wetness was obvious. she had worn a top that had made her beautiful belly button obvious and the back part of her top was as shot as the front.
Wahala dey! I screamed in my mind, as I stood up to cover the visible backside that ordinarily draws attention.
She fits into the picture of the lady that Kiss Daniel had described in his song, YEBA. She is just a simple 'omo to ni kaka yiyo'.
She drew attention and everyone in the hall felt her pain, as she ran out of the hall straight to the toilet she had used earlier.
She could not come back to watch the movie to the end even after I bought her another pair of jeans and a small bag which she threw the already messed trouser into.
Her Christmas was ruined, but thank God I was with her, I said in my mind as we rode home.
This festive period is a time that people eat too much.
Even those watching their weight throw caution in the wind and indulge a little.
Don't be like Chidinma.
Apply these seven techniques
1. If you have started purging, quickly get in touch with your doctor and he/she will recommend an antibiotic you can take for relief. Please, remember that self-medication is deadly.
2. Stick to your eating pattern: Don't let the availability of food become a distraction. Eating what your system is not used to will have dire consequences.
3. Reach out for starchy food: Taking something starch will help delay digestion and then reduce the tendency of stooling. Please, understand that it may take some time before this will yield needed result, as the watery stool already in the system will have to go out first.
4. Drop 'Kafura' in water and drink a little of it. Note that excess of it could be dangerous to the system.
5. Observe your stomach reaction to what you have eating minutes after taking it before you go far away from home.
6. Remember to also take little water to reduce dehydration that will occur when you are purging. If you feel weak, water can help you regain strength.
7. Don't act like you are a superman or superwoman. Talk to someone before you poo iin your pants.
Enjoy your celebration and stay purge free!