Do you ever wake up and tell yourself, ‘my life is full of shit and there is nothing I can do about it?’

Have you ever looked out the window of your house and seen others living the exact life you want? Driving the car, you always imagined you would buy, wearing exotic clothes or kissing the bae you can only dream of?

Does your pastor scream in church on Sundays saying ‘this week will be your week of total turn around breakthroughs’, you yell a loud ‘Amen!!!!!’ But you return next Sunday the same way you left – feeling empty and alone.

Do people tell you ‘Everyone has problems. There are people with worse problems than yours’. Yet you feel deep down that everything you do seems to backfire or the entire group failed because you got figures mixed up?

Then comes Facebook and Instagram, where people appear to have it all perfectly woven together – 93 pictures for one person and he/she is smiling all through. Your headache speeds up; you ask yourself ‘what is happening to me, why can’t I be happy?’

Well… I have more bad news for you. You are a victim of your own reality! If you don’t stop hoping for unrealistic things and start celebrating the achievable ones, you will end up worse than where you are now.

One thing you still have going for you is the power of CHOICE. Yes, you can still decide where to turn from here and stop saying that silly phrase; ‘I don’t know what to do’.

Your situation may not be your fault, but face it – IT IS YOUR PROBLEM AND RESPONSIBILITY! So, stop blaming others and start fixing it. As for your feelings, no one is to blame but YOU.

That fake smile, the loud make-up, the empty wallet, the high heels etc; some people may hide it better than others but the truth is clear deep down, we all suffer the same pains – You and I and everyone else are the same.

The Loser mentality is not a sign of weakness, its only means you are human. Even the materially ‘rich’ among us feel the same way. The first step to freedom is knowing you are not alone. We can’t change what we hate about our lives but we can change the meanings we associate with it.

Will spending several hours in traffic from Victoria Island to Ibeju Lekki make any significant change to your life in 30 years’ time? Will the lady who jumped the queue to see the doctor at the health centre feel better immediately she comes out? Will your boss description of your work rate as ‘snail-like’ change the colour of the moon?

You might feel overwhelmed when these things happen but that feeling in that moment ends in that same moment – it is not your reality, it’s the meaning you attach to these things that determines your reality.

I beg you to accept who you are and how amazing you are! This is not just an inspirational post meant to jerk you to feel good about your tough times. It’s just me being real with you, mirror kind of real.

Let’s face it, you might never have 20 million Naira in your bank account, you may never get a visa or get on a plane to travel anywhere but you are still a champion, a winner in your own life and in the lives of people who love you.

Set proper goals for yourself, dream big but learn to win the smaller battles before the war.

My mentor once told me; we are pushed to achieve more in life when we accept the fact that we won’t live forever. Do all you can while you can. Don’t hate your life, learn to love yourself.