You'd think that with all the awareness being created about the dangers of abusive relationships, everyone would know by now that they should not remain in such a setting.

Sadly, a handful of people are still in denial, thinking that their situation is 'not that bad' and they talk themselves into staying in toxic relationships.

However, the fact remains that any relationship characterised by any kind of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual or even financial) is very likely to remain so or even get worse. There's no other way to put it. This is because, once any of these abuse begins, they become a constant habit that can only be eliminated through rehabilitation, or become worse if not immediately dealt with.

A person who hits you because they are unable to control their temper would most likely do so again under the same circumstance. An apology is not a guaranty that the abuse will not be repeated. So staying with an abuser because s/he always apologises to you afterwards is like walking into a ditch and going back into it after you've had a bath. It's a vicious cycle. It never ends.
 
What then? Should every abuser be abandoned and left alone? The answer is no, if the person is willing to seek help to deal with their anger problems or whatever else provokes them into becoming violent.

Counselling and therapy are very helpful even though a lot of Nigerians still underestimate both measures. Anger management classes (in cases of physical abuse) can also help greatly in eliminating violent outbursts.

Mind you, there is no such thing as "small abuse". Abuse is abuse! If you're in a relationship where you are afraid to express your feelings because you are afraid of your partner's reaction, then you are being abused. Nobody should live under fear or pressure. And don't deceive yourself into thinking that one day, your partner will miraculously change and become a better person. If he/she isn't ready to seek professional help, then it would be wise of you to leave that relationship for the sake of your sanity and ultimately, your life.

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