You may be in your very very late 20's to mid 30's.

Perhaps you can hear '40' calling your name in a couple of years. Each birthday comes with renewed questions about your future. Your relatives no longer mention the topic because you have made your point clear - 'I WILL MARRY WHEN I WANT'.

But you wonder why all these chics who are not as attractive, as wealthy and intelligent as you get married every Saturday and they always invite you.

It's time to look inside. It's not about the guy - not all men are that evil - you also have your shortcomings.

Here are 5 reasons all the guys never propose and just walk away.

1. Your mouth - I am sure you feel I am just talking nonsense right?! You might be the best kisser and excellent in bed.  At least they all come back to try and have some sugar even after the relationship is officially over.

They give the excuse with each argument that your attitude is bad. You interpret this to mean that they hate to hear the truth. In reality, its not what you say but how you say it. He might truly be an unfaithful bastard but he is still a man that you can teach to love you by saying the right things.

Men are like children. The more you openly resent them, the more they only come to you when they are in need (when they are horny). When you are angry keep your mouth shut. When the debate and exchange of words is reaching the climax - keep your mouth shut. Especially when other people are there, keep that witty, smart mouth of yours shut.

A few minutes of silence can win you an entire life time of happiness. Men only like to think they are KINGS and UNRIVALED. In reality, they admire subtle rebellion not the declaration of open war you display all the time.

2. You don't hear word - "Please, I am busy at the moment, I will call you back later". That was exactly what he said. This is what you heard - "Please leave me alone, I will call you when I need to f*^k you". There are times a guy just wants to be alone. Most girlfriends don't get it. He want to be reminded that he is still free. Not necessarily that he is seeking space to find someone else to be with.

Yes, he might bang someone else (which you can never stop from happening no matter how much you police him); but he would always think of you. Your instincts again have said "lie, lie... no one can cheat on me". It has happened severally to you already but you don't know it. Even if you did, remember he is not your husband. He is a BOY that is your FRIEND and you are both thinking of moving forward.

When you are told not to visit - don't visit. When you are told not to stay over - don't stay over. When you are told not to bring your friends - don't bring your friends. You do not like being told what to do at home or at work. You know deep down inside you that you barely know the task but you just wave off all advise and see correction as adversity. You just lack a discerning spirit - what we all call 'common sense'.

3. You are trying to live 'married' when you are still 'single' - the benefits of marriage abound after the marriage not while you are dating. You like to make love abi! So, you say to your boo - "let's not do it with condom" - that was exactly what you said. What he heard was - "let me get pregnant so, we can start living as a couple and have kids". His reaction would be NEVER!

You want him to be happy right? So, stop all the cooking in the house all the time, stop cleaning the house all the time, stop leaving your things over all the time, stop demanding that he spends every weekend with you, stop insisting that he must give account of 'Friday nights' to you. 

Stop making that relationship 'a living hell' for him. Free the guy! Leave him alone to decide what he wants. Don't get into his head all the time. Stop making demands for attention and strict conditions for spending time with you all the time.

4. Accept this fact - You are not the only one he is seeing - Each time I say this, girls think I am justifying promiscuity. See, my argument is based on reality. There are more ladies in work spaces because more women know what they want compared to men. This means when you check your list of qualities you want in a guy you intend to marry, there are only a handful of them in any metropolis.

You have a choice to hang on and hope for the best or walk away for another guy to try his luck. They will keep chopping you because you want to have exclusivity which you cannot get at this point as a girl friend. Nigeria is in a recession and only a handful of guys are breaking even on the job or as entrepreneurs.

There are other girls like you out there as well. Finer than you, sexier than you, richer than you, better connections than you. But they are not you. What makes you special is the real you inside. Accept the reality that there is very stiff competition and very few men-dals for winners. Again, I say love him like a child but treat him like a true friend.

5. He is from a broken home - Before you say 'yes' when he asks you out; make sure you exchange details about his background. This one is often the toughest to deal with. If he grew up in a single-parent home or lived through a tough divorce, he may have developed a fear of marriage. Talk and trust are going to be your best allies in conquering this unfortunate issue.

If he’s open to it, consider seeking the help of a counselor. It may sound cliché, but this can really go a long way toward understanding that he’s not responsible for the failure of his parents’ relationship. Just because he wasn’t exposed to a healthy marriage doesn’t mean he can’t be a part of one of his own.

Fear of commitment is not a death sentence for your relationship; it’s just something that needs to be worked through. So before you decide that he’s just not that into you, consider these points and work through them together.


Most especially - HEAR WORD!