#BounceExclusive: Domestic Violence - Who Is Speaking For The Men?
Some men like women are too ashamed to speak up about their aggressive spouses whose tempers and fits work simultaneously.
There is no better time to talk about domestic violence with the rate at which revelations of wife battery are coming out from many marriages.
If this is not a coincidence, then it is a well worked out strategy by the producer of a new Nollywood movie, 'The Guilt (Ebi)'.
This is Adebola Adigun's second movie as a producer and considering many celebrities – his colleagues, are victims of the scourge, one would say he has good reasons to delve into this topic.
But here is the twist; Adigun believes the campaign is too swayed in favour of women.
So, his movie focuses on the other side of the same coin.
“Too many people believe domestic violence is just about what a man does to his wife but the problem is from both genders.
“Sadly, there are so many men facing this issue but they cannot tell their friends and family ‘my wife is beating me’.
“You need to be close to affected families to see how some women approach arguments and little disagreement with their husbands violently.
“Only a crazy man will wake up and start beating his wife. Sometimes there is more to it than what we read in the media,” he told Bounce News.
Perhaps the aggressors' moral foundations have been destroyed?
“The way some ladies and men were raised, they would lack the mental capacity to manage certain issues in marriage,” he added.
Asked if he has had a personal experience, he admitted to having had to deal with challenging marital issues too but noted that his movie is the true-life story of a friend.
“It happened to a family friend whom I call my uncle. No one knew what was wrong but all we knew was that he was not too comfortable having guests in his house.
“The woman used the advantage of her bigger size to always overpower the man. She slapped him at will and I even witnessed one occasion when she slapped him.
“The woman once stabbed the husband during a fight but close friends kept telling him ‘don’t say it in public that your wife is beating you’.
“The only time the man tried to fight back, which ordinarily you would call self-defense, it became a big family issue.”
The movie is meant to be an advocacy tool for men facing abuse from their wives.
“I am not in support of domestic violence and I do not believe in divorce either” Adebola said, adding that the key to addressing the issue is balance.
He believes that as long as women have the edge in cases of domestic violence, men will continue to be on the defensive.
The society needs to help men understand that being the victim is not a sign of weakness.
“You see men who sit at the bar till late in the night but not all of them really want to drink, many are simply afraid to go home because of the tension,” Adebola also added.
The trailer for The Guilt has since been released and it stars Desmond Elliot alongside Kalu Ikeagwu, Ad-X Artquake, Yetunde Wumi, Joke Jigan and Adebola Adigun himself.
It is expected to hit the cinemas across the country soon, with premieres set to hold in the UK, USA and Nigeria.
While the likes of Tonto Dike, Mercy Aigbe and other women seek justice for the abuses they allegedly suffered from their husbands, Adebola wonders who is seeking justice for the men who have died untimely in the hands of their wives.