Last week, (Nigeria) Twitter was buzzing with the ‘Berger to Ajah’ hash tag, and nearly everyone on the app had their say on the trending issue.

If you still don’t know what the fuss was about (which we seriously doubt), let’s quickly bring you up to speed.

So a guy and a lady met on Twitter sometime in 2016 and got talking, then later decided to hook up. Babe leaves her base in Berger one fine morning to visit her online bae in Ajah. She spends the night with him, they have sex (more than once) and she returns home the next day.

Fast forward to 2018, babe tells her friend that her online bae actually raped her during the hook up two years ago. The friend calls out the guy on Twitter and that was when sh*t hit the fan.

In a bid to clear his name, the guy releases screenshots of his chats with the babe before and after the hook up, and it turns out that Berger babe’s story was not quite true. She has since modified her statement saying she didn’t actually say that the guy raped her, but that she felt “pressured” to have sex with him. 

Now, to the main matter.  As usual, the lady has been slut shamed and blamed by almost everyone who has come across the story. Some guys have asserted that for a lady to visit them at home and even spend the night, it means she wants sex or expects it to happen. Meanwhile, ladies have argued that sleeping on the same bed with a guy doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to have sex with him.

So we ask, when then is sex said to be consensual and when is it regarded as rape?

The simple answer is this: nobody is a mind reader and for that reason alone, it is important to use words to express your intentions and how you feel.

Sex is a delicate matter and both parties involved must be sure that they are in agreement before it happens. If it seems you were both interested initially but along the line, one person says no, respect their choice and stop. 

Sex should happen between two consenting adults. ‘Maybe’ is not the same thing as ‘yes’. Please be guided.


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