The Nigerian society is one founded on patriarchy regardless of our numerous ethnic tribes and cultural beliefs.

Therefore, many women were raised to treat and regard men as superiors in every aspect of life. Thankfully, all of that is beginning to change gradually with the help of many women who have spoken out against this biased way of thinking, giving young women the confidence they need to surge forward in life and break all visible and invincible barriers holding them back.

Despite this seeming breakthrough, some of our mothers are still stuck in the past and have refused to let go of their ‘traditional’ way of thinking, thereby passing down the same kind of ancient advice they received from their own mothers to their daughters.

Let’s discuss 3 of such antiquated pieces of advice that we believe Nigerian mothers need to stop dishing out to their daughters in 2019.

1. Infidelity is normal: There have been plenty of instances where a mother would tell her daughter, “As long as your husband is taking care of you and your children, you don’t need to worry about him having a mistress.” This is wrong on every level especially knowing that that the same leeway won’t be given to the woman if the situation were reversed. A culture that normalizes infidelity needs to be abolished instead of subjecting women  to emotional abuse. Rather, mothers should advise their daughters to respect themselves enough to walk out of toxic relationships and also equip themselves with the means of earning their own money so they don’t get stranded with a cheater just because they can’t afford to leave.

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2. Never refuse him sex: Oh yes you can, especially if his personal hygiene is questionable or you just don’t feel up to it. Just because the Bible says the marriage bed should be undefiled doesn’t mean a woman should become a sex slave to her husband. It’s your body that is involved so you definitely have a say on when you want to humped or not. Some men even take advantage of this ridiculous advice to blackmail their wives into having sex by threatening them with infidelity. This mindset is problematic and mothers need to be advising their sons on how to respect their wives instead.

3. Fight off the mistress: Actually, no. It is the man who left the confines of your relationship to seek another woman’s bed, so he’s the one you should have an issue with, not the other woman. The only time you might want to get confrontational with your husband’s mistress is if she has the guts to come into your home to challenge you. In that case, all bets are off because she’s now in your territory and you are free to defend it. Until then, respect yourself and teach your man a lesson or two on that subject.